“Nietzsche, we’re leaving.”
The words fell heavy on Fred Nietzsche, like a roll of thunder that grew louder the closer it came to its climax.
As Frederick Nietzsche sat in a compact train compartment across from his two companions, Lou Salomé and Paul Rée, he suddenly felt tiny.
It was Lou who spoke, and as insignificant as her words made him feel, the compact space suddenly felt claustrophobic.
Fred’s eyes flicked from one face to the other–Lou’s, her eyes ever-knowing and watchful, and Paul’s, soft and revealing, though distressed. “Surely this is a joke?”
Lou continued to gaze at him with her keen way without saying anything more while Paul’s face did little to hide his discomfort.
“But what about–the commune? What about us?”
Fred could feel his heart break, his gut twisting. He thought he’d endured so much heartache in the last five months he didn’t know it could keep breaking.
But in that tiny train compartment, it did.
It was Paul who spoke first.
“Friend?” Fred cut him off, incredulous. “You both decide to cut me out of your life and travel on without me, and you call me a friend?”
“Oh, stop it,” Lou snapped suddenly. Her brow furrowed in annoyance at the emotional display in front of her. “Get it together, Fred. You had to of known that this couldn’t go on forever.”
He scoffed. “It was my sister, wasn’t it? I know she’s been writing, trying to sabotage my life like she always does!”
Paul shook his head, pityingly. “Fred, your sister has nothing to do with this. We made our decision because you disrupt the balance we are trying to achieve with the commune.”
Frederick sputtered, and Lou rolled her eyes as she groaned dismissively. “I told you, Fred. I tried to tell you every time you proposed to me. But you don’t take no for an answer.”
She continued, her voice steady and stern.
“Paul and I have tried to make something beautiful happen between us by letting you be a part it, but you insist on being selfish and trying to win me for yourself alone.”
Lou tossed a lock of dark brown hair out of her face as if a symbolic gesture of throwing Fred from the group. “I’m not interested in the same things you are, and never will be. You don’t respect my wishes.”
Outraged, Fred jumped to his feet. “What do you mean? I don’t respect your wishes? Lou, I love you! I can’t pretend that I don’t!”
Paul also stood, though more calmer. In the compartment, their noses were mere inches apart. “Fred, this is what she means by selfish. You aren’t the only one who loves her.”
Fred gave Lou a pleading look. “Lou, please. Are you choosing him over me?”
Now it was her turn to scoff.
“Oh, you are rich. No, I’m not ‘choosing’ Paul. You are missing the point of our dynamic, Fred.”
Paul added, “We all love each other. We can be one together. But you keep getting in the way of it, so it’s time that you go.”
Fred suddenly felt very dizzy. His knees buckled, and he dropped back into the crushed velvet seat. His head swam with emotions, none of them good.
She had done this to him so many times before.
A part of him thought that she was toying with him once more, that she and Paul weren’t severe and they would let him back in once Lou had her fun.
But even he knew that this was wishful thinking, and he was facing a hard reality.
“Why did you have to tell me now?” Fred asked them weakly. “We still have an hour until we reach our destination. Is this so that you can get off on fucking with me?”
Lou’s eyes changed, and a small, coy smile played at the corners of her lips. Fred noticed and felt a familiar thrill shoot through his lower belly.
“What’s your game?” he insisted.
Lou raised a single, lazy arm and draped it over Paul’s shoulders. Her other hand reached up to his chest and stroked it possessively.
Fred watched Paul’s eyes close blissfully, and jealousy quickly replaced the glow of sexual excitement inside him.
“Come here, Fred. We have an hour to waste.”
We are still friends until we arrive.
He knew he should ignore them, or at least wander to a different part of the train while he still had some semblance of self-control left.
But now Lou’s hand was drifting from Paul’s chest to his stomach, and then to his trousers, which Fred could see was starting to reveal a sizeable bulge.
Fred started to feel a familiar hunger. He liked seeing the pleasure on Paul’s face, and he wanted to take part in it.
He thought back over the last five months.
There was heartbreak enough, but there were so many nights that stretched on forever, and the trio made sure to relish every minute as if it was the last chance they’d ever have.
Now, this really was the last time Fred would have to take part in their affair. The moment, much like Lou’s mane of hair, was slipping through his fingers, the longer he waited.
Finally, Fred rose and joined the two on their row. He wanted their warm lips pressing on his. He tried to fill his hands–one with the softness of Lou’s breasts and the other with Paul’s rock hard cock.
Lou breathed as he positioned himself between them. Her ever biting words kept her in her position of dominance. She was their queen, and she would never relinquish her throne.
While Fred kissed Lou’s neck and buried his face in her bosom, Paul undid his belt and started working Fred’s trousers off of him.
It was hot–it was always so fucking hot. And Fred wanted to melt until the three were one.
From her throne, Lou directed the men. She had her opinions about sex, but she didn’t let them keep her from feeling sexual pleasure. She just did it differently.
Lou liked watching the men fuck while rubbing her clit. She could make herself cum three or four times before the men did. If they put on a good show for her, it was sometimes more.
Fred and Paul loved watching her as much as she enjoyed watching them. This time, she wanted Paul to fuck Fred.
The men positioned themselves accordingly, and she moved close, so Fred had a chance to suck on her tender nipples as Paul mounted him.
Fred loved how Paul’s cock felt. It was like a part of him that was missing, and with it, he could finally feel full. His friend, usually so reserved, came alive when he entered Fred.
Paul’s hands felt rough; his breath was ragged.
It added to Fred’s pleasure.
Lou kneeled on the seat and raised her skirts so that with each thrust, Fred’s face buried deeper into her wet pussy. The moans from both of them turned him on in ways he didn’t think a man like him could feel.
Fred couldn’t think of anything except how much he wanted to cum. But he wouldn’t dare without his queen’s permission.
But then, he realized that this was their final moment together, that whether he came when she wanted him to or not, he was going to be cut loose.
So, Fred let go of his self-control and felt the climax wash over him. He felt Paul’s grip on his hips tighten as his partner involuntarily released as well.
Lou saw what was happening and made a move to stop them. But it was too late–it was done. Just like their relationship, Fred realized.
He had just a second to catch a glimpse of the aftermath of their tryst before the train entered a tunnel and cast into darkness.
Fred didn’t know what would happen when the tunnel ended, and the light would reveal everything once more. He knew Lou would be livid, especially since she didn’t cum.
Fred knew there was going to be consequences, but for the few moments he had, he was free.
He was Nietzsche.
Nietzsche The Man
Although Nietzsche was a genius that had a deep understanding of human nature, he never fully understood women. The guy was way too romantic.
His relationship with Lou Salomé was stormy. She put him through the wringer emotionally, and he let her do it time and time again.
One has to wonder why he subjected himself to so much heartache. Did he like that kind of emotional torture? Was she into that, rather than getting a good hard fucking?
Or, did she torture him precisely because Nietzsche never let go of his pen long enough to grab his cock?
Nietzsche’s sex life–and love life–is about as complicated as it gets.
No one seems to agree whether he was straight, gay, bi, asexual, or something in between.
His writings and philosophy about men and women, love and sex make figuring out his orientation even more complicated.
The only thing that we can say with confidence is that, as a man, Nietzsche suffered.
Despite many notable figures–including Sigmund Freud–who insisted he was gay, Nietzsche had a tumultuous relationship with fellow philosopher Lou Salomé.
They say when you fail at first, to try again, and no one took that more seriously than Nietzsche. He proposed to Salomé three times, all within a couple of months.
She rejected him each time, and still, he continued to pine for her for the rest of his life.
Some believe Salomé denied him because she had some deep-seated hang-ups regarding sex and marriage, which she discussed in a short novella named Fenitschka, which she published in 1898.
It’s also known that Nietzsche suffered from syphilis. Scholars debate whether he contracted it in a hetero- or homo-sexual brothel. It’s believed he got it from another man, but no one knows for sure.
In May of 1882, Nietzsche met Salomé in Rome after she went there with her mother.
For Nietzsche, it was (allegedly) love at first sight.
But unfortunately for him, a life of love with Salomé was not in the cards.
Nietzsche wasn’t the only one to become instantly enamored with this woman. His friend, Paul Rée, had already met and developed strong feelings for her.
Like Nietzsche would, later on, Rée asked Salomé for her hand in marriage, and, like Nietzsche, was rejected.
Salomé may have turned down Rée’s proposal, but she suggested the two of them form “an academic commune as brother and sister,” along with another man.
That man ended up being Nietzsche.
For several months, the trio traveled together, looking for places to establish their little commune.
One has to wonder how these three close friends spent their free time.
Salomé was infamous for her open relationships with men, including Freud. So it’s hard to imagine something not happening during the time they spent together.
Nietzsche’s discomfort of sex is easy to glean from his writings and life events. But perhaps he put his pen down long enough to get off while watching Rée and Salomé fuck?
Additionally, rumor has it that Nietzsche and Rée also had a romantic relationship of sorts, which only adds fuel to the fires of controversy regarding his orientation.
Sadly, the group had a falling out in October that same year.
Perhaps it had to do with the three’s love triangle. But a lot of it is thought to be caused by meddling from Nietzsche’s sister, who disliked his association with “immoral woman.”
Nietzsche And The Importance Of Sex Ed
For all of his personal feelings about sex, Nietzsche remained a man ahead of his time. He was an early advocate for sex ed, and he didn’t try to keep it on the down-low.
In his book, Ecce Homo, Why I Write Such Excellent Books (which is a hilarious title, by the way), Nietzsche writes: “The preaching of chastity is a public incitement to unnatural practices.”
He believed that men and women alike should “need to be educated better” to understand their relationship.
He also wrote about the negative effect that neglecting to teach women, especially those who were more well-to-do, sex could have on their psyche.
Nietzsche believed that sex ed could benefit women by alleviating some of the shame and guilt that comes with growing up in a sexually repressed society.
He also stated that teaching women to believe premarital sex was “vulgar and unacceptable,” then expecting them to jump into bed on her wedding night could be psychologically damaging.
Nietzsche was a mystery unto himself, and it seems like he had a hard time sorting his shit out.
Of course, that makes it doubly difficult for us nowadays to understand him, or even his writings.
He may not have been a king of kink, but he was the king of something. There’s a reason why he is one of the most profoundly influential thinkers in history.
Nietzsche’s life was one of immense pain and deep-felt emotion. And, just like an onion, peeling away the layers of his internal and external suffering is enough to bring tears to your eyes.
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